AUTHOR: Sheri Lynch TITLE: Can pandas swim? DATE: 2/22/2006 10:07:00 AM ----- BODY:

"Because pandas can't swim in the ocean." That's the reason Olivia gives Caramia for refusing to allow her family of tiny toy pandas to visit Barbie's Mermaidtopia. The pandas in question - the biggest maybe two inches tall, tops -- come fully equipped with backpacks, cameras, and binoculars. They want to visit Mermaidtopia, by God, and swimming skills or no, Caramia is determined to wedge them into Barbie's clamshell-shaped bed. I try not to intervene. They need to work out their own problems, right? But then Olivia bursts into tears. "Mommy! Tiny is making her pandas go underwater!" "It's okay, honey." I say, reasonably enough, I think. "I'm sure that Barbie would love to meet the pandas. Don't you think that Barbie would like that?" Olivia is now totally ramped up. Tears squirt out of her eyes. Sobbing, she wails, "Noooo! The pandas can't visit Barbie because they will drown! They will drown under the water!" She lunges toward Caramia. Caramia responds by throwing the baby panda, hitting Olivia on the head. Olivia goes berserk. Caramia laughs. I look at the clock. Bedtime won't arrive for another five hours and fifteen minutes. Mark and I are slowly going insane...

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